Life can get so serious very quickly. Can I pay my bills? Will I succeed at my job? Do I have to do this all on my own? Am I doing this right? What if I fail? Will I be loved? Are we safe? It’s easy to get caught up in all these worries and more and forget the essentials. This earth has got us and supports us; AND even when everything seems chaotic and doesn’t make sense life is meant to be enjoyed and shouldn’t be taken so seriously.
This picture was taken of me on Christmas Day at Central Park. I never forgot how much I loved swinging, but this was the first time I had done it in a long time. For about ten to fifteen minutes, I felt free, no worries; I was just having fun (kids came around, so I left). It’s hard to keep up that feeling on a day to day basis, but I try to whenever I can. I do one fun, silly thing (whether it’s getting an vanilla ice cream cone with sprinkles, go to a movie, cook, play shoelaces with my cat, sing out loud wherever I am) whenever I can and it reminds me that life’s not so serious; And that fun is not just for kids, but something that each one of us deserves.
It doesn’t mean that my life won’t have trials or struggles–quite the contrary–joy is the combination of happiness and pain. But for a few moments daily, I can remind myself that it’s not all struggle and happiness is available.
The hardest part when I first started performing by myself was staying on the stage after the performance. I would sing my songs and then want to leave the stage. No bows. No applause. Just leave. I started performing because I realized that people thought my singing was pretty, and I felt that it was my gift to others. That said, I really didn’t believe that that was true. I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t talented enough. It was really uncomfortable and terrifying being on the stage. But I kept doing it because others believed in me.